Sunday, November 27, 2016


The Dude was a DUD!

Saturday night was date night to meet a new potential playmate.  He sent a message on one of the swinger websites recently.  His profile read well.  He only had a few pictures posted, but enough to show he was an attractive guy.  After a few messages back & forth, we set the date to meet at a local restaurant bar at 7:30pm.  We texted several times over the prior few days and shared some pictures.  One he sent me was of his cock next to a TV remote. It was as thick and long as the remote, so my pussy was already tingling!

On short notice, @MrTexVoyeur had to work that night.  We agreed that I would meet The Dude alone.  If there was a connection & I wanted to play, Fred would be able to watch the live action from the bedroom security cameras.  I texted The Dude to see if he was cool with the arrangement & he replied "I ok with it!"  Seriously..."I ok with it"? (Points deducted for G&P fail!)

The restaurant is typically busy, so I arrived a little early and was able to get a booth at the bar.  I sent him a text to say I had arrived and to come join me in the bar, 3rd booth on the right.  A few minutes later he replied with "Ok i omw 20 mins"  Again, seriously...G&P foul and more points deducted!

WTF?!  If you know you are going to be more than a few minutes late, have the courtesy to let the woman know!  Come on, guys!  Make a good first impression!

At 8pm, I'm still sitting alone nursing my Tanqueray & tonic.  I send him another text: "Let's meet another time."  He replied with: "No I here where u @".  (Third G&P foul!)  I told him again: "In the bar, 3rd booth on the right."

He came over to the booth & I stood up to greet him with a hug.  I was wearing my favorite leopard print 4" heels putting me at 5'8", which should have been just under his profile height.  Except...I was looking down at him.  No way he was 5'9"!  More points deducted!

He sat down and ordered a cognac, then complimented my dress.  No apology for being over 30 minutes late.  RUDE!!  He spoke at length about himself and a new business venture.  Sorry, I'll spare you those details.  I wish I could have been spared!  I excused myself to the ladies room and upon return he ordered us another round.  I changed topic of conversation to swinging.  He bragged about how much of a sensual man he is, and how much he enjoys giving oral.  I let him know I certainly enjoy being on the receiving end, but do not orgasm that way.  He asked what my likes/dislikes are.  I told him I really only have a few pet peeves: no facials, no anal (at least not with new guys), no licking my face (that's a whole other story, folks!), and be gentle with my nipples as they are very sensitive since being pierced.  He nodded, smiled & again told me "how sensual" he is.  You had to be there to see how animated he was with hand gestures at this point!

So...I'm thinking "What the fuck, I'll give him a try!" and ignored my gut feeling...bad move!  I suggested we cash out the bar tab and head back to my house to get to know each other better.  The waitress dropped off the check & he moved away from it like it had cooties.  After a few minutes, I opened the holder & was going to go ahead and pay, but he finally offered to "help out".  Come ON guys!  Be a gentleman and buy a girl a drink rather than expecting her to buy your expensive cognac!

I told him where I was parked & said he could follow me back to the house.  We arrived & headed straight back to the bedroom.  Planning ahead, the lights were on low and music was playing.  We started kissing & touching each other.  I suggested we get more comfortable & shed some clothes.  He stood there with his arms out to the sides and head leaned back.  What the hell?  I assumed he wanted me to undress him, so I did.  After he stepped out of his shoes and pants, I knelt down and started to give him oral.  Just like he had overstated his height, he also overstated his cock size!  Not sure if he sent me a picture of a big dick that he found on the internet, or if TV remotes come in petite sizes for tiny "Trump-size" hands, but his dick was much smaller than I anticipated.  Come ON guys, be honest with your cock size!  It's not like you can fake wee-willie's actual size!  MAJOR points deduction!!

I noticed the light from his phone turn on and assumed he was taking a picture of me giving him head.  But one of our cameras revealed what he was really doing.  Not pointing the phone down taking pictures...but checking messages...while I'm sucking his wee-willie...WTF?!  Then he had both hands on his phone and was typing!  Had I noticed at the time, I would have told him to leave right then!  For those of you that can't believe a guy would DO such a's proof!

After a few minutes, he took my hand and pulled me up.  He started to finger my pussy and suck on my nipple.  He sucked so hard, it was painful.  I told him to stop and reminded him how sensitive my nipples are.  He said, "that's right, you did say that."  He switched to my other nipple and it was the same routine.  I sat on the edge of the bed & he pushed me backwards.  After bragging about his oral skills & being able to please a woman, I thought he was going to give his best try to make me cum.  Nope!  He grabbed a condom from the dresser behind him, rolled it on & started to fuck me.  He leaned over me to suck on my nipples again.  For the third time, I cried out in pain and told him "NO MORE NIPPLES" and covered my breasts with my hands.  He came quickly, then went to the bathroom to throw away the condom.

After a trip to the bathroom, I met him back on the bed and we fondled each other. He had a tough time getting hard, but rolled on another condom.  As soon as he was hard enough, he pushed back into my pussy to fuck again.  We tried a few positions and I ended up on my back again.  He laid down on top of me, wrapped his fingers into my hair and pulled hard enough to hurt.  I told him to stop and he came again.  As soon as he was done, he pulled out & flopped over on his back.  Within a couple of minutes he was asleep.

WTF just happened?!

I put a robe on and loudly said, "Hey, you're sleeping, so it's time for you to go."  He woke up & said, "I've got a 3rd in me."  I told him it was time to get up, get dressed and go.  He got his pants on, then turned back to me and said he wanted to lick my pussy.  I told him "No pussy!"  He finally finished dressing while I moved into the hallway.  At the front door he asked for a long kiss goodnight.  I agreed, but he ended up giving me a long hug instead.  He tried to untie my robe, saying he wanted to kiss my breasts.  He bent down, took a nipple in his mouth and started to suck hard AGAIN!  I told him, "That's IT!  Get OUT!", opened the front door and pointed outside.

This is exactly the type of single guy that gives single guys a bad name.  My life lesson?  Stick with my gut feeling about someone!

Don't get me wrong.  I've met a lot of nice guys and am fortunate to have a couple of really fun and pleasurable playmates for many years.  But...The Dude (a.k.a. The Dud) takes the cake!

Will this experience stop me from meeting new guys?  No...but I'll learn to listen to my gut feeling more than my pussy! ;-)

- Wilma


  1. Holy shit! What a moron - I mean; thanks for sharing & everything, but so sorry you had to deal with such a buttmunch

  2. So sad that people don't have a brain sometimes.

  3. I had to stop reading about 2/3rds of the way through. It hurt my brain too much to see such clueless people exist!